Thoughts from Tess

I am back this morning from Canada where I was invited to participate in a fasting/initiation ceremony near the Six Nation’s Reserve. Diane Longboat is the spiritual leader of this community and is a force of nature. I met Diane in Montreal last August when she was part of a panel that presented for the Jungian International Congress held every three years. She has a spirit that is deep and clear, powerful and compassionate, sharp and visionary.

I was supporting a friend’s initiation/fasting ceremony at Soul of the Mother Lodge—I cooked, washed dishes, swept the kitchen floor. I slept on a couch in a living room in a house with one bathroom for seven people—I didn’t have my Swiss coffee maker or my internet connection or the daily junk TV to take time from my thoughts, dreams and feelings. It was hard work, but a simple quieter life that already I miss.

I listened to Wilmer, an elder and chief tell about his remarkable vision from his early life, I listened to middle aged healers talk about the big serpent and what it means to dream about one and I watched a dozen young men/boys learn how to keep the fire, support a sweat lodge, plant tobacco. I was deeply moved by a young woman of 14 sweep each member of the lodge with an eagle wing, shaking the energies out in the fire. She seems to have a destiny, raised in a natural way with her customs and her heritage.

And I am not from this tradition. I am Anglo from North America, living on “stolen” land, taken from others, my ancestors, long ago. I go to Switzerland several times a year and don’t belong there either, even though I have discovered that my first ancestors from Europe were a couple from Bavaria and Zurich. But I don’t speak their language, I did not grow up on that soil—I am not part of European land where I look like the people who live there now, nor am I part of the people I don’t look like, Native American/First Nation people upon whose land I have lived.

Somewhere, without stealing or mimicking or pretending or exploiting I hope to find a way to stay as connected to the spirit world as four days in Canada has gifted me.